Remember When?

December 24, 2006. Another Beautiful day in Paradise. Remember When you believed in Santa? Well I sure do. It seems like just yesterday I would go to sleep early on Christmas Eve and wake up early on Christmas Morning. I would leave out cookies for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph. I would write a letter to Santa and go down to the Post Office to send it to the North Pole. I was young and naive. But it was good. Once I knew that it was a hoax, and had to act in front of my brother, it was torture. I admitted to my friends that I believed in him, just because my brother followed me wherever I went. When I could talk to my friends alone I told them the truth. Back then I didn't really know about other religions and their holidays, and whenever I saw someone I would say Merry Christmas. But today, You can't say Christmas in school because you might offend someone. I doubt that any Jewish person would be offended, especially after that time I told a Jew joke to John. At our school's Holiday Assembly Liz lit a Menorah while singing a song in Hebrew (I think it was Hebrew). If I were Jewish and they asked me I would be like "Nah, thanks anyway. It would feel weird in front of the whole school by myself like that." But that's just me. The Menorah was basically the only non-Christmas thing done in the whole assembly. I feel like I went over all this crap before, and I probably have. Whatever. Merry Christmas! (I even decorated the site with Christmas colors.) Have a nice day.

Recent History Lesson

December 18, 2006. Another beautiful day in Paradise. Recently, somethings went horribly wrong. To start off, The Nintendo Wii that I have been talking about has had some problems. Some more enthusiastic players have thrown the wiimote from their hand, and had the wrist strap so top it from flying away. However, the wrist straps started to break. They then flew into other things that would then brake. It was an epidemic. People posted pictures and videos of them hurting them selves or breaking things whilst playing with their Wii. There was an outcry for a solution. Nintendo answered, deeming the old wrist straps a safety hazard and recalling them. But it seems that only Mike has ordered a new one. To do this, he sent his e-mail, real name, address and phone number to Nintendo. During study today, he tried to convince me that Peter got ripped off by winning a $400 Wii prize package because he had to give Nintendo his e-mail, real name, address and phone number, rather than $428 after taxes. I think Mike is feeling pretty stupid right now. Especially because I beat him in table tennis and go on to fight Matt for the title on Wednesday.
Also, Yul won Survivor last night. I was pissed at first, because Ozzie got second, but then realized that Yul was just as deserving because he played a 100% mental game while Ozzie was 100% physical. a tie would have been great television.
_________
I don't really like doing these anymore, so expect the posts to be slowing down and maybe coming to a halt. Have a nice day.

Remember When?

December 3, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. Remember when Christmas wasn't all messed up? Well I sure do. When I was little, I would get excited and all, and I would have one of those little things that every night you opened a door and a piece of chocolate was inside. But that was pretty much it until Christmas break started. yesterday, I went to the Holiday Stroll, and I couldn't act festive for 20 minutes. I had wasted it all the days after Halloween and Thanksgiving. Another thing that pisses me off is that you can't say Christmas anymore. I remember in 8th grade someone (probably Corvo) got a detention for wishing my Spanish teacher a Merry Christmas. That is just wrong! To be fair she is an avid Jew. But if she wised me a Happy Hanukkah, I wouldn't go running to her boss or anything. The best part is that even though we get off from school for Holiday Break, we don't have off for Kwanzaa or Hanukkah. Just Christmas, I think. I know I probably missed a holiday in there, but I don't care. Sorry. Sue me. another thing is Christmas lights. Mike's dad liked all the lights we had put on our house, but he was being sarcastic because we didn't put them up yet. We wait until Christmas time. This one house down the street from me has so many lights that it seems like it's only dusk there when really it's pitch black out. When they turn them on, all the lights in my house dim temporarily. It's like wearing a flamboyant suit jacket to a party and showing up an hour and a half early. Have a nice day.

Wørd in the Hall

November 26, 2006. another beautiful day in paradise. This week's wørd in the Hall is Movie Film. "I'm gonna see that Borat movie. Not because I think it's gonna be good. I just want him to live." This was said by a blond girl in my Confirmation class. She saw the Borat trailer, which ends with Borat saying, "Please come see my movie film. If it not success, I will be execute." I guess she, along with my whole English class doesn't realize that Borat is really Sacha Baron Cohen. Oh well. I guess that's good for him, because his other characters can still have movies made about them and not get his cover clown. But sadly, Borat is dead. Whenever Borat goes into public again, people will notice and ask for autographs and pictures, etc. His hi-jjinks are over. Let us take a moment of silence.
_________
Ok, now onto the real meat of this post. My friends and I recently shot a movie. My friend Mike has edited movies before, and he edited it. But I decided that I could make a pretty decent version myself. So I edited it. That leaves two copies of it. If you would like to see them, don't go running to youtube. They're not there. I'm not posting them here either. And they aren't on Google or yahoo or anywhere that I know of. If you want it, post either your e-mail or (if this works) your Wii friend code. Next time I post I will check the comments and send it to those people. If you don't want your email or friend code to be visible to everyone, put that in the comment and I won't let it get posted. I alone will see it, and will send it to you. after I send it, I will erase the comment so that no one can see it. The only thing I ask is that you post there which one you like better. I know that Mike will post that his is best, and right now I'm saying that mine is the best, so I guess we cancel out. It is up to you. Enjoy the show. Have a nice day.

Recent History Lesson

November 19, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. Recently, PS3 came out. This may not seem historic, but it was. It marks the first time that something over or equal to $500 has been successfully been sold with no original ideas. The thing is literally the best of both the XBOX 360 and the Wii. It was so successful, that people were willing to take a bullet for it. And someone did. And 26.5% of people surveyed said they would too. Its just wrong. I went to my cousin's baptism today, the father said that we didn't have to repeat the PS3 fiasco with the donation envelopes. At the restaurant, people were talking about the guy who got shot, or the crowd that go trampled when told to form a new line. I wonder who decided to tell hordes of people that the line they are already in doesn't count and they have to race to get a good spot around the parking lot. Umm, yeah. I hope that guy got fired. What really bugs me is that most of the people who bought one sold it on ebay, and that somebody would buy one for $9,000. You're much better off with a Wii anyway. I got mine today and it is awesome. I showed up at the local Toys R Us, got at the end of a 115+ person line, and waited to get my Wii. the only problem is that by the time I found where the accessories and games were, all they had were classic controllers, Wiimotes, Happy Feet, and Avatar. I picked up a Wiimote, and my mom forced me to get a classic controller. Unfortunately, they had run out of nunchucks. Luckily, the good games were behind the counter. I got Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. I have yet to play it, put I did just finish a game of Wii Tennis. I'm still sweating slightly and my brother hit his hand while going for a mean serve. It's a little sketchy but still fun.
One other historical event that has happened since my last post: Democrats took the house and the senate for the first time in my lifetime. The Colbert Nation is in turmoil. Not that I really care or know the differences yet. Have a nice day.

Why I Hate You

November 5, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradice. Video Game Industry, I still hate you.
But still, not really. I hate the guy who times when crap is released to the general public. As you learned in last week's post, Nintendo decided that the local Toys R Us had to have its reservations slips shipped to them in increments of 10. Nintendo also decided that their new console, the Wii, would come out 3 days short of a year after the XBOX 360 came out. They also decided that the date of the Babtism of my cousin was a good day to do their world-wide launch. Sorry, Dominic. Just kidding, I'll get it on the way there, hook it up to the 4" screen in my mom's minivan and play it on the way home. From that last relevant statement, I want to know who decided on a world-wide launch. At midnight all across the world, nintendo fanboys will pause thier DSs for a brief moment, climb out of their tent, and walk up to the counter of the local Target and fight for one of the 10 Wiis in stock. The world-wide launch sounded good when Microsoft announced it 18 months ago, but it created chaos. People were held at gunpoint, trampled, and killed over XBOX 360s. People sold theirs on ebay for over 300% more then they paid. One Sony Senior Manager paid $2000 for his. Stores recieved as little as 14, and 7 of them were sold to management. And now Nintendo thinks this is a good idea also. Hmmmm. Why don't you guys hold up on all of your shipments to countires with smaller populations than California and forward them to the stores that are only getting 10 or 15? We would kill for them, while they are more patient. Just stop and think about it next time. Have a nice day.

Why I Hate You

Before I rant, I am going to tell you some things. First, I am upgrading the blog today, so if there are any technical difficulties please post them or e-mail me. Also, this rant was inspired by Mike, whom had a really good rant that I wanted him to type up. He refused to unless he could rant about himself. So now I'm typing up my much better version.
_________
October 29, 2006. Another Beautiful day in paradise. Toys R Us, I hate you. Especially your video game section, aptly titled the R Zone. The R Zone is a source of games rated Teen or below, containing strategy guides for games that don't need them, such as WarioWare. Inside the R Zone you will also find third-party accessories that are likely to harm you, such as a controller that blows air that uses twice the electricity of a normal controller. The controller cools the air using cold water. Water + Electricity + Holes + Hands = A World of Pain. But the meat of this rant is a personal anecdote involving the Revolutionary Nintendo Wii (pronounced wee). Most other gaming stores had already announced that they were reserving these, and ran out within the hour. Peter had told me on Friday that Toys R Us would finally be taking reservations on Saturday. I called them up after school and they said that they had started already and only had four left. I could get there at around seven, so I asked how quickly they were going. He said he wasn't sure but they started out with ten reservations three hours and twenty minutes ago. That works out to one every twenty minutes. I told him that and he told me to get there early on Sunday because they were getting another shipment. Hold up! You get a shipment of little slips of paper that say I threw down an extra $50 to buy a console the day it comes out? Do you wait for Nintendo to ship you toilet paper to wipe your ass or ship you air to breathe? I mean c'mon! This is just plain messed up. However, I called my mom and she got it for me. She had to cut through the exit to beat out some little kids. My "friend" Mike didn't get a reservation because people slept outside the Toys R Us to get said slips of paper. I don't think they really did, but the retard who answers the phone sure thinks so. That guy needs prozac or something. You call them up, hear a recording, listen to a couple ads, and talk to this guy. The old guy would know what you meant if you just said "Video Games." The new guy won't connect unless you say, "Could I please speak to somebody in the R Zone?" and then its still a crap shoot. That's all for now. Mike mentioned something about Santa Clause in his rant, and it was pretty good, but I forget most of it and would not do it justice. Have a nice day.

Recent History Lesson

October 20, 2006. Another Beautiful day in paradise. Recently, I realized that humans have no chance. I have come to this conclusion after realizing both A) America is the world's strongest nation & B) America is just plain messed up. To start this week off, I lost my "Lunch privileges," meaning my 'friends' wouldn't let me eat lunch with them for 5 lunches. This is supposed to be my 'punishment' for not doing everything Mike tells me, unlike Potato. This is messed up because A) Slavery was abolished in like the 1700's, B) 'Friends' are supposed to "like you for who you are" and crap like that & C) I have lighter skin than Mike anyway. So for two days I chose to eat whatever I wanted without someone making fun of me for being to plain and pouring garlic on it, I didn't have to put up with Mike's gay jokes about me and Potato, Mike always talking about how he's never been wrong, Potato's gay jokes about me and Potato, and Matt trying to make me feel better afterward. I really hope that all of them see a doctor and that Matt doesn't become a Psychiatrist. Another thing that happened this week was that I got braces. I am a teenager. My teeth were fine until about three weeks ago when my mom decided that she was going to prove that my life could, in fact, be worse. I went to the dentist to get my teeth examined, and he said that I don't really need braces but I could get them. Uhh, anyone with thousands of dollars to burn could get them. The dental hygienist said that I should become an actor to "cost-justify the investment." When I told my mom this, she said, "They tell that to everyone. You'll be glad you got them when you're older." To which I replied, "Until then I'll never forgive you. On that day I'll send you a Hallmark Card that says something along the lines of, 'Thanks for pasting metal onto my teeth and not allowing me to eat anything that can't fit through a straw for eight to twelve months.'" Okay, the message of the card was not part of the conversation, because I thought you would like it more than she would. So now I'm finally at the orthodontist's office and his assistant starts shoving rings of metal into my gums. Then she strapped them together with more metal. The Orthodontist came over and tightened some screws and said, "Good work." He then handed me a water bottle. When I opened it I realized that he is the reason that water bottles aren't allowed on airplanes. There was a toothbrush, some toothpaste, orthodontic wax, two kinds of pain reliever creams, some mouth wash, three coupons, and about 3 sheets of paper. Two of them are things I can't eat. This list goes from obvious to understandable to completely out there to "I didn't know that was edible." Some things on the list include: Popcorn, Potato chips, Soda, Apples, Pears, Orange peels, pens, paper, anything hard, anything soft, anything with sugar in it, etc. And at the bottom of the second sheet it says that this is an incomplete list. Seeing as all my teeth needed was a little white-out, I think I'll eat whatever the hell I want. Another thing that proves the world is screwed up is game 7 of the NLCS this year. Somehow, the Mets made it this far to play against the Cardinals. Winner goes to the World Series to play the Tigers. I won't bore you with the really small details. Bottom of the eighth, tied at 2, one out, Cardinals at bat. The ball is hit, and it looks like it's going over the fence. But now, it is caught in the very top of the glove, and thrown to first for a double play. Mets get to bat, don't score. Cards get up, hit a two run home run to win the series. On the morning announcements Mr. Rierden, a Mets fan, shows the cover of the paper, and amazing shot of an amazing catch by an amazing Met. He says, "What would have been the best play of the season is now forgotten, because the Mets lost. This puts us right back where we started, in the mud. But the mud is where we're comfy, and that's where will stay." I couldn't have said it better myself. Have a nice day.

Wørd in the Hall

October 13, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. This week's Wørd in the Hall is: Friday the Thirteenth. "I'm sure if this were a real emergency we'd all be safe right now!" Friday the thirteentis justttt another superstition, right? Right? I used to think that, when I was young and naïve. You know what they say, some days you're the dog. Today was one of those hydrant days. In Chem, I got back a failing quiz, in Trig I took a quiz that I didn't do too well on, in Spanish I realized that I had a project due Monday, in History I did very bad on a map quiz of the United States, in gym we had to stay inside and play kickball rather than go outside and play football because some kid was hospitalized, and in English I gave a bad presentation on verbs and then handed out a hard quiz for the class to do. The teacher got a C on it, and she knows verbs because I asked her for help. My presentation was so bad, people thought I would have taught better stoned. Now I don't do drugs, but I'm told being stoned is like starting a fight with a bodybuilding comedian. I don't get it either. To prove that I wasn't the only hydrant at school today, someone got hit by a parked car. Using logic, I figured out that he is a guy and he hit Mr. Cole's car while playing football. When he gets back from the hospital I bet he'll trip over a cordless phone. Remind me not to make jokes about injured people ever again. However, one good thing happened to me today. Mike went to his uncle's camp and missed school. Thank god! I need to stay away from that kid unless I want to become emo. And I don't because I keep my hair away from my eyes and the music sucks. People will tell you I'm emo, but he's at his uncle's camp for the weekend. I would go on about Mike but It's 12:36 and I have to go to the bathroom. I'm going to post again seeing as last week's post was deleted for legal purposes. Have a nice day.

Remember When?

October 1, 2006. Another Beautiful day in Paradise. Remember when humans were the smartest race on earth? Well I sure do. Now humans are being replaced by the more efficient and cheap race called robots. Robots make almost everything you use during the day. They made the alarm clock that woke you up, the microwave oven that warmed up your waffles in, the car you drove to school in, the mechanical pencil you wrote that essay in, the heat lamp that kept your burger warm, the football you used in gym, the ipod you listened to all day, the computer you're using right now, the list goes on almost forever. They can mow your lawn, vacuum the rugs and mop the wood and tiles, climb walls to scan for weak points in buildings, fly at speeds of up to Mach 6, map out the earth, take a picture of you without you ever knowing it, trace your exact location and send a human to hunt you down. Soon they'll cut out the middleman and just find you themselves. The worst part is, humans are doing it. We built them. They say that by 2105 humans will not be needed for anything but upholding the balance of the food chain. And scientists are working on that one too. Now you may not believe me, but my dad's an engineer and he reads Popular Science, and they eat this crap up. Every month he tells me about some new robot. One month he told me about this game, the ESP Game. It's fun and I enjoy playing it. Then my dad tells me that it is used to help robots think more like humans. Unfortunately, I was already hooked. And to prove robots are getting smarter than us, go draw a house. This accurately told me my personality. Granted there are millions of those things out there, this one is the most advanced. Not that I'm worried about a Terminator scenario in the future. Although scientists say that someday it will be possible for any random Joe to have force powers. And that some college kids have made a car only one molecule big. Have a nice day.

Why I hate you

September 24, 2006. Another beautiful day in Paradise. Teachers, I hate you. Not because you're bad people, but because you make me do work for which I recieve no pay and that you aren't satisfied with. For example, Mrs. Ricker, my 4th grade teacher and neighbor, is a great person. However, she ranks among one of the owrst teachers I ever had. She taught us nothing and instead gave me 6 hours of homework every single night. I am not kidding or stretching the truth on that one. But this rant is about my current teachers. I will go in order of my schedule. First, Mr. Yuhas. I don't really like science, but it is more interesting than most of my other classes. Mr. Yuhas has done nothing to make this class easy. We just learned significant figures and we are doing advanced "sig-figs" as he calls them and we have had a quiz on them already. Next up, Study. I don't know who the study teacher is, but I know he only lets us watch ESPN. After that is Mrs. Stricher. She is the kind of teacher who gives homework every single night, and I don't mean study. We have at least 10 problems every night, and she teaches us something new every day. At least we don't have busywork. Next is Ms. Albanesius. She is the best Spanish teacher I ever had, mainly because she is the first sane one. But, every day but one we had to do groupwork, which usually is a good thing, but the work is something like learn as much as you can on this topic and teach it to your group. After that is Lunch. Then Mr. Cole. This one might take a while. History is the most boring class ever. I see little to no point in wold history. The only profession that you need world history for is world history teacher. This year I have american history, so there is a point. Mr. Cole expects us to know everything, even before he teaches it to us. He also expects us to know random fact from his favorite movies and bands. I knew the Monty Python question, but even Mike missed the Reel Big Fish one. He also has tried to trade for Ms. Ponterero's class twice, kill a student twice, and kill himself once. After that is Mr. Turano on Monday and Friday. Hes just like every other art teacher you've ever had, except mabey a little nicer. Next up is Mr. Jones and Mrs. Parisi for Gym. Once again, just like every other gym teacher you've ever had, but now we are graded on skill and we have a quiz after every cycle. After that is Mrs. Schlick. She is Mr. Ciervo but a little nicer and has Peter's voice. Not that I'm she's nice, she's not. She assigns large projects over weekends and basically asks us question that are allegedly in the reading but really aren't. That's about all for now. Please feel free to post about your teachers here. Have a nice day.

Wørd in the Hall

Before I rant, I would like to apologize to Mike for both posting this after when I said I would and for essentially not alloing comments. Well, after I post this I will enable comments, so if you wanted to comment beofre and couldn't please try again. As for posting this late, it's about 1:10 P.M. where I am, and Mike says these are only good when written late at night or early in the morning. If it makes you feel better I wrote this last night and am merely typing it now, I'm still pissed off from finding out how to get the ø in the title, I'm blasting music, my parents aren't home for another half-hour, and I have to finish this and an essay before they get back. So expect a little anger and confusion. We now continue with your scheduled rant.
_________
September 6, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. This week's Wørd in the Hall: Freshmen. "There's too many random freshmen in this hallway. You never see the same one twice." This quote is this week's rant in a nutshell. At my highschool, there are roughly 650 students and at least 200 of them are freshmen. When we go to assemblies, Seniors are in the center, Juniors are on the left, Sophomores are on the right, and Freshemn are in the balcony. 74 years ago there were 200 seats in that balcony. Today, its standing room only for the last Freshman homeroom. There's just too many of them. Now, my class, the Sophomores, are relatively small. So small, in fact, that they merged our gym class with the freshmen gym. That's bullshit! What's worse is that the first two gym classes was Freshmen v. Sophomore kickball. Now, our class is not the one that you would exactly call something like talkative, hyper, or alive. We really don't care. We only had 50 people at the pep rally and 20 thought it was mandatory. So we lost the first game 9-2. The next game was different. We were pissed. So pissed that weak little me hit a homerun. So pissed that unathletic Alyssa hit the ball into a basketball hoop (we got no points or bases on this one due to everyone being momentairly stunned and thinking it was an automatic homerun. we won 9-5. Go class of 09! The class of, umm, 10 can kiss our ass. [/school spirit]
Our school has four hallways; Senior, Junior, Sophomore, and Freshman. You usually get a locker in the hallway of your class. If there aren't enough, since a lot of them don't open, your locker is in a hallway with the same locker size. Freshmen and Juniors have small lockers, Sophomores and Seniors have big lockers. But there are so many Freshmen that they have lockers in not just Freshman hall, but also Senior and Sophmore halls, where the quote was heard. We need to get them out of out hallway. There's just too many of them. We need to ice a couple, if you know what I mean. Someone almost did in gym class. During game 2, this one Freshman, Alleem or Eilim or something like that was being a complete asshole. He faked an injury to try to get one of our good players pulled. He just sat out for like 2 minutes. So one kid on our team, I forget who, "accidently" bashes this kid right in the face. He had it coming, faking injury and all. Have a nice day.

Recent History Lesson

September 10, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. Recently, school started. Now if you don't go to my high school, you might not get some of the jokes, stories, etc. If you're not sure if you go to my school, read on and you'll know by the end. That said, on the first day of school everybody gets all dressed up to make a good impression or something like that. But due to tradition at our school, the majority of the first day is an assembly which is usually only to angrily chant at the incoming freshmen. But this year, they announced that not only that gum chewing wasn't against the rules last year, along with soda drinking, but that neither are allowed this year. Just clear water in a clear container that has nothing in but but Hydrogen and Oxygen. But the good news is that for the first time in 74 years, our school has ... wait for it ... Toliet paper on rolls! After the assembly, we had our afternoon classes. Fast Forward 7:00 the next morning. Second day of school. I had to get all dressed up again because nobody had their morning classes yet and my schedule got changed. On the second day all the classes are shortened due to the pep rally where all the teams get cheered on by the whole school and the angry chants at the freshmen. We, the sophomores, had about 50 people there, about 75% of the Juniors showed up, about 50% of the freshmen came, and naturally all of the Seniors came. During the chant competition, We came in third, freshmen in last because everyone else drowned them out, Seniors came in second, (but the teachers said they won anyway) and Juniors took the gold. Not that you win anything. During our chant, everybody started booing. Even the freshmen. Nothing like pissing off 400 people simultaneously. It's an unique kind of therapy. Afterward, I was talking with Mike and Liz (well, Mike and Liz talked and I mumbled like 5 words) and Liz said something about how Band isn't a team but It's harder than Cheerleading, and that's a team. I thought about it, and came up with this: Cheerleaders can stay a team, as long as they do the same routine as they did at the pep rally. Also, the Band and color guard should now be a team. The reason the cheerleaders have to do the same routine is because they practically mooned the freshmen, and since we are next to the freshmen we had a great view. That's all I'm saying.
Also in recently Steve Irwin died. If you don't know who he is than I'm not going to tell you he's the Crocodile Hunter. He was doing a segment called something like, "Deadly Dangers of the Deep". Now since he was filming this when he died, they have his death on tape. The sad part his they're probably going to air it. Just goes to show how sick and twisted our society is. Now, a bunch of jokes have popped up about his dead ranging form "He had it coming" to "One less Psycho on TV". When Mike told me one of these I said, "Don't make fun of dead people." Since Mike always had a defense, he said, "He's not dead he's immortal". Here's to the immortal Crocodile Hunter. Have a nice day.

Remember When?

This one's for the Tailies.
_________
September 2, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. Remember when The Lost experience was interesting? Well I sure do. Back when we were searching for hidden clues on the Hanso Foundation website. Back when the main character was a clever hacker, not some wanna-be who can't even hide a video on the world wide web. I mean, c'mon! This was fun once! What happened! I liked it when I felt like I was helping someone who had potentially Been caught in some cruel experiment. The game used to feel so real to me that I had nightmares about it. But since then it has slowly drifted from 'awesome' into somewhere near the 'suck' range. Helping out DJ Dan was still rebellious, but couldn't top Persephone. Helping out Rachel didn't really seem like it would be good, and I was right. What's the fun in helping an attention seeking woman who got fired from her job and decided to take her rage (and her severance package) out on Hanso? Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, her comes the Apollo bar. What is supposed to be a mind-altering drug is now given out for free to anyone who wants one. Even those who just like dark chocolate. I wonder why all the kids in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory were so happy, because this sucks. This isn't real to me anymore. I can't have nightmares about Willy Wonka (unless you count Johnny Depp's interpretation, but not for TLE). I can't go all the way out to NYC to have my picture posted on a sight where apparently more Apollo bars = location of Alvar Hanso (who I think was murdered). I can only wait until the next phase comes out. I imagine we'll have to send in videos of us doing an exotic dance in a specified location, such as a major city or a bath tub with clawed feet. More videos equals more clues to DJ Dan's location! I sincerely hope that the writers do a better job with LOST Season 3, because it's a great show. Remember, don't judge a book by its viral marketing campaign. I have just one last thing to say to the writers of lost, next summer, get 4orty 2wo to do the work for you. Or at least make it interesting the whole way through. Have a nice day.

Why I Hate You

August 26, 2006, another beautiful day in paradise. Video game makers, I hate you. Just kidding. You guys have one of the top 25 coolest jobs in the world. I just hate the guy who decided that all the 'test' games and 'scrap' games come out during the summer, when I have the most free time. By 'scrap' games, I mean games like Cars or NHL 07, and by 'test' games I mean games like Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis or Flatout 2. Now RGPTT is a good game, and I'm sure Flatout 2 is OK, but compared to the games that come out during the rest of the year, like Halo 2 or Super Smash Bros: Melee, summer games just can't compete. Luckily, Maddenoliday has passed since my last post, so Merry Maddenoliday. Be happy, because Maddenoliday marks the end of the video game summer. Now good games will slowly start to come out, gaining speed until New Year's Eve, where progress will drop slightly and then plateau until summer, where it will fall again. This is why I like Madden.
While I'm on the topic of video game makers, I just have one more thing to say. Actually I have a lot of bones to pick with the video game industry, but for the makers, just one more complaint for now. Please strive to make your games worth $50 or now $60. When I heard that Diddy Kong Racing cost my parents $40, I was kind of angry, But now I have to fork over $60 for Burnout: Revenge, even though there is a $50 version. Remember game makers: if your game is really good you can sell if for less and still make a profit. Look at Katari Damacy, the best game to cost $20 for any system of its time. Have a nice day.

Remember When?

August 20, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. Remember when you were an easily amused little kid? Well I sure do. I can remember when I was in preschool and all I did for 3 hours a day was roll a tennis ball down a 2' 5" foot tall plastic slide. Occasionally I'd be forced to let people go down the slide. I didn't like those people, and only remember 2 of them and only saw 1 of them ever again after I moved. Both of them moved to Texas. My point is, give the average 5 year old a toy car and some playdough and he'll cry if you try to take him away. 10 short years later and I complain that I'm not allowed to kill virtual humans and instead kill aliens. I complain that the computer that I use to kill mythical beasts when I'm bored of killing aliens is slow and crippled by a firewall. My parents then proceed to implement more "security measures" that I could pay some kid in my grade to hack through. And that's saying something because I am broke. When I hang out with my friends we play virtual soccer and then start a virtual fight. I can only imagine what my hobbies will be at 25. My point is, frankly I liked it better when I didn't need computers to have fun. Once I played on a computer my life took a dramatic 180:
One day, in kindergarden, I took the test for speech class. I passed the test, which meant 30 minutes of speech class every day. My class was me, Larry, and I think Alec. In middle school we formed a bowling team. Back to speech class. Usually we were done early, so we went back to normal class. Once, we just worked for 10 minutes and then took turns playing Little Bill Spelling Bee. From that day forward, I became a geek. I watch Attack of the Show, when I was allowed to have a MySpace I couldn't fill my Top 8, I spend more time on my computer than with people, I played no sports freshman year, some of the people I listed as friends in the friends version of "Why I Hate You" were a bit of a stretch, I find talking to people awkward, and I have not been on a date yet, but I have blown my chances with most of the girls in my grade.
Yes, there is a point for me repeatedly insulting myself and no one else this week. And for those of you keeping score at home, I'm up to #17, but the number is debatable depending on your stance on how young children spend their time and your poinions about Attack of the Show. The point is, if you have any of the aforementioned symptoms of being a geek, do what I'm going to attempt and try to change your life a little bit. Find a new hobby, make a new friend, decide against sleeping in a parking lot the night before Maddenoliday. Whatever. I'm going to try to take up either golf or archery and I'm going to try to be a better bowler and try to make the team this year. And the best part is I keep all of my current hobbies. I am just going to do a little less of them.
I want to write more, but I started over an hour and a half ago and can't think of much else. I think this is the deepest thing I have ever written. I just hope I can write this good for English class. If you were inspired by this post and want to change your life a little bit, please comment this post. Have a nice day.

Why I Hate You

August 13, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. Mike, I hate you. I know you have been dieing to hear those words. Uhhh, I mean see those words. Yeah. Now I know this is a year in the works and that I've delayed it yet again from my usual saturday post. But I've been real busy since friday night. I had the block party, then I went fishing for 12 hours, then my family came over for my brother's birthday. And now I remembered I was late on my TRC post. Now Mike, I know you said you would laugh at this post, but I think you're still gonna get pissed seeing as mabey some or all of this post might be what somebody somewhere may call "filler", as in "crap", as in "other peoples' stuff that they store in your attic". At least I'm told that's what crap is.
Back to the hatrid. Mike, you are a manipulative, devious little weasle (Just assume the words you didn't understand are just long words for weasle). You lie to my face and I can't tell. Yet occasionally I outbet you in poker. As in, I got a read on you and found out what you had simply from your reactions. Yet I can't tell when you blatantly lie to my face. For example:
One day, Mike, Greg and I went to the grade school to try the mentos and Coke explosion thing. Tanner and Brian showed up too, but I don't know why. The explosion didn't turn out well. But some little kid came up and splashed Coke all over my sweater while I'm sitting on my bike. He tries to again, so I rode away. Now, Mike tells everyone there that I got beat up by a grade school kid. I make him and Greg swear not to tell anyone else. Now, I told the rest of my friends and made them swear not to tell anyone either. The next day I'm standing at my locker and Andy walks by and says "bufar, I hear you got beat up by a 6-year-old." I say, "No, some grade schooler spilled soda on me. Who told you?" "Mike." I am infuriated but not shocked. Mike couldn't keep a secret for crap, especially if you convinced him it was Italian. So the next time I can talk to Mike is on AIM. When he saw that I logged on he said something "sumtins up bufars on aim". And I say "u no wats up". "?" "u told ur hole study i got beat up by a 6 year old". "no". "YESUDIDDAMNIT!!!!!" "no". "WHODIDTHEN?!?!?!?!?!" "brian." So the next day in 1st period, Scott, who is in Mike's study, if I got beat up by a 6-year-old. I say no and asked how he found out. He said, "Mike told us to ask Brian what happened to bufar yesterday." I confronted Mike, and told him Scott's story. I expected Mike to deny it, but he confirmed it. HE CONFIRMED IT! But he also said that he hadn't broken the promis because he specified that if Brian or Tanner told anyone that he wasn't liable. And since Brian told everyone . . .
I also hate Mike because of Movie Night at St. Mary's that he now probably wishes he never went to.
One day, my phone goes off during my AFF class. I silence it and when calss is over see who it was. It was some number I never saw before. Out of curiousity, I called it. Turns out it was Mike on someone else's cell phone. Now Mike has a cell phone, but it's a pay-as-you-go so he doesn't use it when he has no minutes or when he has minutes. I ask where he is and he says he's at movie night. Since my AFF class is above the teen center, I decide to go. Turns out Shawn brought his camera and took embarassing pictures of Lauren and me. He then proceded to post them all over MySpace.
I also hate Mike because his jealousy is subtle and uncontrollable (warning, this may get really deep).
One day, mike calls me and says, I invited Greg to your house. I was home alone so I told him. Before I get into the shower the doorbell rings. Guess who? It's Mike and Greg. Mike asks for a soda. I say no and close and lock the door. He goes to every window on the first floor of my house, knocking and asking for a soda. He even went into my fenced off backyard so he could get his Cherry Coke. I clsoe and lock everything and close all the blinds. I go take a shower and then get dressed and go on the computer. He is standing by the window asking for a soda when I get the the computer. I threaten to call the cops but he still won't leave. He finally leaves only minutes before my parents get home.
One day, after inviting Justin to movie night, Justin goes out Lauren, who he met there and who is in the embarrassing pictures with me. Mike does not leave Justin alone until they broke up. Once he tole me to go there and when I got there Justin said " I coulda swore Miek was coming." I said I hope he is, he invited me." After they broke up, I found out something very interesting that I swore I wouln't tell Mike. And since only Mike reads this blog as of now, I'm not posting it. But my point is never bet against Mike, he will lie and cheat and bend reality and warp words just to get that $5. He should be a lawyer, but instead he want to own a Hotel modeled after Giants Stadium. Go Figure. I gotta got to sleep now, sorry Mike. But I've been typing for over an hour now.
Have a nice day.

Why I Hate You

August 5, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. Greg, I hate you. You are the second most annoying person I know. Whatever I say, you have a problem with. You are like a preppy, 8 year old Stephen Colbert only without a TV show and without power. (For an example of Stephen Colbert's power, go to any elephant Wikipedia Article) Here are some stories about Greg.
One day, Greg and I are deciding where to go for lunch. I suggest Quiznos. He says no because it's bad food and too expensive and too far a walk for our High school. Greg suggests the deli. When we get there, there are no tables and all they serve are sandwiches. Also, I can only afford one kind of sandwich, spiced ham. Stop and think about that for a moment. Now, Greg, being a prep and getting all his money from his mom, he can afford any sandwich he wants plus a drink and a bag of chips. Since there are no tables, we decide to walk around town. I take one bite of my sandwich and it is horrible. I couldn't eat it. Luckily, I ran into my grandfather and he lent me money for lunch.
One day, in comptech, we are forced to pick our jobs based on some stupid test we took. I ended up with something like climate Control Technician, which is the guy who installs central air. Greg, being the cheap son of a bitch that he is, only looks at the salaries. He said that they were all trash and hoped to make more than that in his first job. I looked and one job was roughly $250,000 a year. I than pointed out to Greg that Justin makes minimum wage, and that his first job will most likely be minimum wage also, which brings in roughly $6,000 a year, if you work 3 hours every day and don't call in sick or take weekends off. For Greg to reach his goal his first job would have to pay $23 an hour and he would work for 3 hours every day and not take a single day all year off.
One day, Greg's rich mom goes out and buys a new car. That leaves one unused car. I thought she'd sell it, but I guess she's keeping it for parts or something. We are close to getting our permits, so I tell Greg that alt least HE won't have to buy a car to drive. He says yeah, but he wouldn't be caught dead driving his mom's old car. Or her new car for a matter of fact. I guess with his $23 an hour he can afford a Jag. But I don't think he lags Jags all that much...
One day, we were making fun of Greg for being a prep. He denied this, naturally, and asked us to provide proof. We pointed out that his only sports were Track, Tennis and Bowling, and he said he'd never do track again. He than accused me of being a prep because I didn't make the bowing team and was the worst person to try out. I pointed out that if I were a pre I would have made it, and he only made it because he throws a straight ball. We also pointed out that he always wears Abercrombie shirts, except when playing sports when he wore his shirt with the guy playing polo on it. We won that argument, as usual.
One day, when we went to the bagel place for lunch, Greg ordered his usual, Bacon Egg and Cheese on a poppy with salt, pepper, and katsup. However, every time he orders this, he complains about it. Tommy and I never had any complaints about our food, so we always tell him to order something we're having. He always says no instantly, and then tells us he'd rather have the bad food thatn what we're eating, because of the price difference. We tell him to stop complaing about it then. Repeat.
So, that's all for Greg. For now. Have a nice day.

Why I Hate You

July 30, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. Friends, I hate you. Well, not really. I hate you less than I hate everyone else. That's got to mean something. Specifically, I hate Dario for being a wigger. Wait, he's more beaner than white. So I guess he's a beagger. I also hate Justin because he's turned into an emo. Not that emos are bad, but Justin just didn't seem like an emo. But he's good at it. Next up is Tommy, whom I hate for knowing how to kill me as I type this right now using only a laptop in his living room. I really wish he'd tell me how. I also hate Scott for being obsessed with Halo and Bobby for jumping on the Mets bandwagon. In addition, I hate Mike and Greg, but the intensity of my hatrid will force me to rant about both of them indivually. Have a nice day.