Why I Hate You

August 13, 2006. Another beautiful day in paradise. Mike, I hate you. I know you have been dieing to hear those words. Uhhh, I mean see those words. Yeah. Now I know this is a year in the works and that I've delayed it yet again from my usual saturday post. But I've been real busy since friday night. I had the block party, then I went fishing for 12 hours, then my family came over for my brother's birthday. And now I remembered I was late on my TRC post. Now Mike, I know you said you would laugh at this post, but I think you're still gonna get pissed seeing as mabey some or all of this post might be what somebody somewhere may call "filler", as in "crap", as in "other peoples' stuff that they store in your attic". At least I'm told that's what crap is.
Back to the hatrid. Mike, you are a manipulative, devious little weasle (Just assume the words you didn't understand are just long words for weasle). You lie to my face and I can't tell. Yet occasionally I outbet you in poker. As in, I got a read on you and found out what you had simply from your reactions. Yet I can't tell when you blatantly lie to my face. For example:
One day, Mike, Greg and I went to the grade school to try the mentos and Coke explosion thing. Tanner and Brian showed up too, but I don't know why. The explosion didn't turn out well. But some little kid came up and splashed Coke all over my sweater while I'm sitting on my bike. He tries to again, so I rode away. Now, Mike tells everyone there that I got beat up by a grade school kid. I make him and Greg swear not to tell anyone else. Now, I told the rest of my friends and made them swear not to tell anyone either. The next day I'm standing at my locker and Andy walks by and says "bufar, I hear you got beat up by a 6-year-old." I say, "No, some grade schooler spilled soda on me. Who told you?" "Mike." I am infuriated but not shocked. Mike couldn't keep a secret for crap, especially if you convinced him it was Italian. So the next time I can talk to Mike is on AIM. When he saw that I logged on he said something "sumtins up bufars on aim". And I say "u no wats up". "?" "u told ur hole study i got beat up by a 6 year old". "no". "YESUDIDDAMNIT!!!!!" "no". "WHODIDTHEN?!?!?!?!?!" "brian." So the next day in 1st period, Scott, who is in Mike's study, if I got beat up by a 6-year-old. I say no and asked how he found out. He said, "Mike told us to ask Brian what happened to bufar yesterday." I confronted Mike, and told him Scott's story. I expected Mike to deny it, but he confirmed it. HE CONFIRMED IT! But he also said that he hadn't broken the promis because he specified that if Brian or Tanner told anyone that he wasn't liable. And since Brian told everyone . . .
I also hate Mike because of Movie Night at St. Mary's that he now probably wishes he never went to.
One day, my phone goes off during my AFF class. I silence it and when calss is over see who it was. It was some number I never saw before. Out of curiousity, I called it. Turns out it was Mike on someone else's cell phone. Now Mike has a cell phone, but it's a pay-as-you-go so he doesn't use it when he has no minutes or when he has minutes. I ask where he is and he says he's at movie night. Since my AFF class is above the teen center, I decide to go. Turns out Shawn brought his camera and took embarassing pictures of Lauren and me. He then proceded to post them all over MySpace.
I also hate Mike because his jealousy is subtle and uncontrollable (warning, this may get really deep).
One day, mike calls me and says, I invited Greg to your house. I was home alone so I told him. Before I get into the shower the doorbell rings. Guess who? It's Mike and Greg. Mike asks for a soda. I say no and close and lock the door. He goes to every window on the first floor of my house, knocking and asking for a soda. He even went into my fenced off backyard so he could get his Cherry Coke. I clsoe and lock everything and close all the blinds. I go take a shower and then get dressed and go on the computer. He is standing by the window asking for a soda when I get the the computer. I threaten to call the cops but he still won't leave. He finally leaves only minutes before my parents get home.
One day, after inviting Justin to movie night, Justin goes out Lauren, who he met there and who is in the embarrassing pictures with me. Mike does not leave Justin alone until they broke up. Once he tole me to go there and when I got there Justin said " I coulda swore Miek was coming." I said I hope he is, he invited me." After they broke up, I found out something very interesting that I swore I wouln't tell Mike. And since only Mike reads this blog as of now, I'm not posting it. But my point is never bet against Mike, he will lie and cheat and bend reality and warp words just to get that $5. He should be a lawyer, but instead he want to own a Hotel modeled after Giants Stadium. Go Figure. I gotta got to sleep now, sorry Mike. But I've been typing for over an hour now.
Have a nice day.